Today’s topics: All the options for reopening schools are terrible, under-valuing of care work, being able to speak the language of the oppressor, funnel cakes and fried dough are not the same thing but anyway they put tomato sauce on it in Connecticut, Canada: a land of inadvertent obscenity, sexism and racism in women’s healthcare and “they just don’t make it like they used to.” We do not fact check our opinions, no matter how strongly held. Please check a reliable news source if you aren’t sure we got things right. That said, we would like to note that the Ontario plan isn’t quite as bad as Phyllis initially thought and Cambridge has shifted to a plan that seems pretty good. Also, Kevin’s grandfather was a fruit peddler in New York, NOT the old country. Anyway, if you are looking for the news, this is not it.