9. Quadmester Butt Fumble

We FINALLY give appropriate attention to the white male demographic as we invite Podcast Editor and Professional 11th Grader Jack Rippeyoung to share a ground-level view of schooling during COVID-19. In-person school scores a “thumbs up” because only dumb nerds are good at asynchronous learning, and we debate Jack’s puzzling resentment against the world’s leading teenaged climate activist for a lot longer than you might expect. A Letter from Listener inaugurates a new segment: STUPID STATS WATCH! Turns out, the statistical methods of Broadway’s leading e-newsletter are rivaled only by those of the Love Island App. Speaking of statistics, if you don’t eat 6 lbs of chocolate a day you are dumb and this episode contains 143% more sports references than ever before. Cam Newton has the best football player name, but also COVID, and if we’ve learned ONE thing, it’s that you gotta pick up the dead rats.

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